yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
