just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
