return my video game
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
