Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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