Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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