Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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