he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize