i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
