No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
