Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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