saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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