We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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