I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dick very happy bro
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize