Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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