Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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