looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
