Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
