dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize