I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
