Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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