"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
