Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize