I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
