i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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