I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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