All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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