He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
