i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
