I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
