just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
