she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
