I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
