I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
