Quick, to the slutcave!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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