She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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