My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
