He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
