dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
3pm strippers are depressing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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