why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
