i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
