Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
