Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
