dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
