they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
