I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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