school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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