Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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