oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize