Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
