You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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