My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
