I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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