Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
