Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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