remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize