How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
