I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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