Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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