just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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